a walk to the park

To expend our after-nap energy, we took a picnic dinner and walked to a park near us.  There isn't a direct route there so we cut through a neighborhood, a wooded area, an apt complex, crossed a road and then through a office complex.  It would be fun to live in an area where sidewalks were more common.  :)

We walked past this super tall road sign... but not too tall that Daddy couldn't lift Lily to touch it!

 Getting carried... 

 Mike even packed our dinners... sandwiches, veggies, and strawberries.

I love Mike's happiness in these pics.  These kids have a really good daddy.  :)

And I have a good & hot husband.

They would race to the top of this...  one thru the middle and one up the side, then switch...  

 then down the slide

 looooong Peter

 sweaty, tired kids

The girl got a ride.

 Peter walked home, and often it was like "walking a cow", as he put it!  (I have no idea where he gets this stuff.)  He pulls backwards as we try and get him to walk forwards.

 and occasionally, he got a ride.  

Yep, he's a good and a strong Daddy.

grocery helper

Seriously, do they come any cuter and sweeter?  Is it possible to enjoy a child more than I've enjoyed this one?  Peter is in a morning VBS all week so Lily and I shopped together this morning.  She was really excited to help me get the items off the shelf and put them in the cart.  She "helped" put our things up to check out and then wanted to carry a bag out.  So I found a little bag and put the broccoli in it for her to carry.

Brudder and Sista Love

Some sweet pics from recently

Lily Bug likes to open all of the bandaids and put them on the counter... so one day I just let her.

 then I gave her some stickers to add to the collection.

 I finally got around to sewing Lily's "3" shirt and sewed the front and back together... maybe its not the best idea to sew when you are a day out from anesthesia and full of confused hormones... 

 These two were having one of their hug fests... they say to each other, "Lets do whoaaaa".... 

 Can my heart be but so sad?

 Look at their faces... 

 Shortly after this, they got a little too into it and Peter leaned too far forward and Lily fell backwards and bonked her head on the floor.... oops.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They are doing swim lessons.  We hadn't been able to work out a morning class like we've done in the past so I signed them up for the last class they were offering... its in the evening at 6pm.  I wasn't sure about that time and how it would work for us.  But its actually been GREAT.  We have dinner beforehand and then enjoy the rest of the eve at the pool.

 putting her face in... big, brave girl!

Peter is trying to learn "freestyle".  He is doing a GREAT job swimming with his legs and his head and face in.  He doesn't quite have the arm part down.  But he is 2/3rds there!!  And he can really actually get somewhere in the pool on his own.  Way to go, Pete!

Lily's teacher showing "no hands" that she's not helping Lily. 

 Lily doing it all on her own with the noodle.

They get to jump off the diving board at the end.  Peter was hesitant at first but he's ALL ABOUT IT now!  He jumped several times during class. 

swimming to his teacher 

 Again!

 He gets to the side completely on his own!

 Then after class, we stayed with him and he must have jumped off the board 12 more times.  He wanted to keep jumping and jumping.  And each time, to the side on his own... such good exercise.  I am so proud of him.  Its one of those 'thank you, Lord' moments.  Such sweet appreciation for what he can do!

One of Lily jumping to her teacher from the side.

 I've been trying to paint away my sorrows.... 

I found these 2 frames at a thrift store for 1/2 price... I'm gonna chalkboard paint the middle.  

I think I'll put one in my bathroom and one in Lily's room.

Lily's is gonna get "spawkalie" pink paint for a top coat.   

 And using more of the green paint for a stool in our bathroom.

Maw took good care of us while she was here.

The kids sharing some "cambalope" that she cut up for us.

Lily's not really stabbing herself in the eye here.

Thank you, Nee Nee, for Peter's new gym outfit... he wore it this week.  :)

Thanks for everyone's love and support through this miscarriage.  I've felt quiet about it, not b/c its a secret but b/c there's just not that much to say, no words seem exactly right or adequate.  We are just sad that we won't get to hold that baby in our arms in this life... Lily and I both wanted to.  Not that we really told them about it directly.  But we like babies and she tells me often that "You can have another baby" (since she is growing up) and that she'll help me take care of it.  She likes to talk about him or her having "this many" pacis as she holds up 3 fingers.
Lord, hear our prayer or give us the grace to surrender that dream.

dreaming

Last night, I took a Lortab at bedtime (to ensure that I didn't have any achiness from the D&C I had the day before).  As I slept, I had the sweetest dream!  I dreamed that all of my kids were with me.  Not only two... but at least four.  In my dream, they were all with me, in my arms and two weren't in heaven.  It was at least a sweet taste of heaven, where I didn't know the ache and longing I feel here on earth.  The profound sense that things aren't right.  It wasn't a distant memory, it had never happened... I woke up and then wanted to go back to sleep... 


I read this yesterday (from Spurgeon's Beside Still Waters).  
Who knows what it is to obey God to the fullest?  Until you have laid aside your will in the most tender and painful respects, you will not know.  (fyi: This is so so hard.) To plead with God for the life of a beloved child, to see that dear child die, this is to learn obedience.  To go alone and plead with God for the life of a husband or wife, to agonize with Him for the blessing, and then to be compelled to weep at a fresh grave and still be able to say, "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21), this is to learn obedience.
Our Lord as man was made to know by His suffering what full obedience meant.  His was practical, experimental, personal acquaintance with obedience, and in all this He comes near to us.  A Son learning obedience, that is our Lord. May we not therefore walk joyfully with Him in all the rough paths of life?  May we not safely lean on the arm of One who knows every inch of the way?

again

Remember the "more on that later" comment on the last post.  Here goes...  
It may be the first some of you are hearing of it.  Its just been a lot and more than I've felt up to "talking" about.  Not because its a secret.  But we don't "announce" a pregnancy before its really "time".
We've had another miscarriage.  Boo.  I hate it.  
I found out I was pregnant 4 weeks ago.  I didn't even tell Mike for a day, which is so not like me.  I've told him right away the other 3 times.  So I did feel so hesitant about it after our miscarriage in Mar 2011, even though its been the desire of my heart since then.  I didn't even look up my possible due date for close to a week.  I normally do that before I even find out I am.  A few asked me questions like if we'd find out if it was a boy or girl and I would tell them I hadn't let it go that far in my mind.  
But you do.  
You are always hopeful.  
Its bound to be God's Spirit in us.  Even tho I know the worst is possible, I always feel hopeful that 'anything is possible with God'.  Finally, I did look up the due date and the computer said 3/4/13 (my birthday... wouldn't that have been the best birthday present!) and after my first U/S, they told me 3/3/13.  I had a D&C after my first miscarriage on 3/3/11 so that date alone had me encouraged... a little redemption for that date?  But we were told though at our first U/S that there were concerns.  We went back a week later at their recommendation.  And there was no heartbeat.  
It's wierd.  It's so disappointing.  I think one of the things that baffles me the most is that we had two completely uneventful healthy, easy pregnancies.  I've told Mike that altho I was hesitant this time and I knew it was possible that the pregnancy wasn't "viable", I never really imagined myself here... in the category of fertility problems or whatever you want to call it.  It all just seemed like a given to me, a given for us.  But are there any givens?  Which maybe is just the grace of God that he would humble me of that.  And let me in more to understand the suffering and grief of others.
I am hating that we have to walk through this grief again.  This time I feel like I have a clue what to expect and while that's maybe slightly helpful, its also just makes it worse.  
I'll go in tomorrow for a D&C.  Thanks for your prayers.

July Phone Pics

Really going back to the end of June...
Lily loved Uncle Ray when we visited Cape Cod.  She insisted on sitting on his lap at church.  :)

We had a 3 day power outtage after we returned from CC.  :P  Mike's parents left for England on Day 2 so we day-camped at their house and even shopped at the store near their house with car carts.  The kids loved shopping at "Goo's Store"! 

I love how Peter is choosing his new book over the car, in the left pic.  :)

 And they loved playing with the duplos at Goo's House... each of the animals and people (bent over near Peter) are "sleeping" here on their "beds".  

These kids are champs at pretend!  I absolutely love it.

Aunt Becky sent Lily Duplos for her bday and they are QUITE the hit.

 Since Goo and Pop were away on Lily's actual bday, we celebrated the next week with pizza and cupcakes at their house.  It was awesome for all.

 Lily (& Peter) got super cute hoodies from their England trip!

 A friend (step sister? as my dad would say) had a baby recently (Hi Sherry!).

I went to visit him in the hospital (she came here to good ole SMH) and boy was he a cutie!! 

Look at him!  He was such a little munchkin.  Reminded me of little Peter.. similar hair and cuteness.

 I love how little they are at birth.

 My parents came for a visit last weekend, along with J&J from previous post.  We went out for dinner.  This storm cloud scared us home.  We've had enough crazy storms lately that we took it seriously, but it wasn't so bad.  It looked like a huge crashing wave as it approached.  EVERYONE in the parking lot was taking pics of it.

 Lily got my last greek yogurt out the fridge to eat one day.  I said, "Lily, that is my yogurt."  She said, "Mommy, we share."  Point taken.

A sweet friend brought by flowers this week :)... more on that later.

 Lily and Peter are taking a Wed am gym class together this summer.  They love it and love doing it together.  

I finally convinced Lily to wear the little ballet outfit that Goo and Pop gave her for her bday.  She has been hesitant for some reason.

 I went on my FIRST ever city bus ride!!  They finally twisted my arm after 2-3 years of going without me.  It was really fun!!  Seriously.  We walked through our neighborhood up to the bus stop.  Good exercise for all.

Its a little cooler and cloudy today.... perfect.

 Daddy and Lily ran to a store to get our bus cards.  Peter led me to the bus stop and we waited for the other two.  Isn't he cute?

 All together... waiting for the bus. 

The bad storm clouds in the background weren't so bad... just some sprinkles to keep us cool.

 The buses are really cool and clean inside.  

Maybe the P fam could start a movement for GRTC of families taking bus rides??? 

And I'm thinking it sounds like a fun bday party for Peter... 

 We rode it about 2 miles up to a little shopping area near us.  We went to a toy store to get a doll family for the new doll house.  Then we walked across the street for lunch (pizza and sandwiches), then ice cream.  There is even a library nearby that I'm thinking could be fun for a future visit.  But we came home after ice cream in time for naps.

 Lily helped me paint a chair this week (not really .... only for the 3 secs it took to take these pics).  I really like how it turned out.  I used some paint Mom had given me from some doors at her house.  :)