Reflections after Charlie's Funeral

The last 3 days were amazing, so bittersweet.  God was and is so good and He was so glorified.
Be sure that we cried and cried but there were equal tears of joy mixed with the tears of sorrow.


Yesterday we laid Charlie's body to rest.
The service at Holly & Charlie's church was amazing.
We worshipped, really worshiped.  We celebrated that Charlie is alive in heaven and we celebrated the ways God will use this to advance His Kingdom in our hearts and in others. 


These were the songs we sang at the start of the service....
They were both perfect, every.single.word.  There is no time the words resonate in your soul like at a funeral.  Our very being balances on the these things being TRUE.  There is no other time that they are more real.  

John 6:68 

Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

"Be My Everything" by Tim Hughes



Passion's "Awakening" by Chris Tomlin
In our hearts Lord, In this nation; Awakening
Holy Spirit we desire awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing
For the world you love
Your will be done, Let Your will be done in me

In Your presence, In Your power awaken me
For this moment, For this hour, awaken me

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, Let Your will be done in me

Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my awakening

Like the rising sun that shines
Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing
Only You can raise a life
Awake my soul, Awake my soul & sing!





And its amazing to think that God works these words and truths out for Holly and the rest of us as we grieve and at the same time, they are true for Charlie, as he awoke to Eternal Life.
And to be able to sing "Your Will be done" as tears fell... was just freeing & life giving.


Holly's cousin, Huntre, (on the other side) sang "Blessed Assurance"

1. "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
   Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
   Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
   Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
   
   • Refrain:
     This is my story, this is my song,
     Praising my Savior all the day long;
     This is my story, this is my song,
     Praising my Savior all the day long.
2. Perfect submission, perfect delight,
   Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
   Angels, descending, bring from above
   Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
3. Perfect submission, all is at rest,
   I in my Savior am happy and blest,
   Watching and waiting, looking above,
   Filled with His goodness, lost in His love."

Their pastor spoke.  I won't attempt to do it justice and repeat all that he said but the parts that remain in my head are him saying that we think this is the land of the living, and those who die are going to the land of the dead.  But no, Jesus turned that upside down.  We are in the land of the dying and Charlie is in the land of the living!  Jesus said to Mary and Martha at Lazarus' tomb "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies."

The service ended with this quote from Charlie's website, written on Monday 8/16.... 

"there is a reason that we have all been brought together in a particular moment in time even if I never know what it is I want to be sure that I keep my eyes on Him and not miss His purpose."

Then the crowd watched the Equador video as everyone was dismissed.

After we all got back in the limo, Holly looked back at Charlie's parents and said "I can't help but SMILE!"  And they smiled back.

We couldn't have foreseen the seemingly crazy turn that last Wednesday eve would bring.  I'm certain Holly (nor Charlie's parents, family and friends) would NOT have chosen or wanted it.  But as Holly said after the wake "[His death] is having far reaching effects".  

I LOVE YOU, MY DEAR HOLLY!!!!

Reflections on Charlie written on Saturday morning (8/21)...

Charlie was in a skateboarding accident on last Wed eve, 8/18, and suffered a head injury.

Charlie was taken off life support on Friday eve.  

Holly (my cousin & the sister I didn't have) was AMAZINGLY strong and trusting.  

It was HARD but SWEET.  We know he is with Jesus (and with Alvin, Holly's dad, who died unexpectedly 7 1/2 weeks ago).

So the loss is ours, not Charlie's, and for that we are thankful.

In the last 2 years, God had done AMAZING things in Charlie's life (that was really the miracle of taking him from death to life in Jesus).

You can read testimony to that on his blog, 333technologies.com.

We all trust and believe that God is so good.  But we are profoundly sad.

Please, please pray for Holly over the next few days and weeks as she lays her husband's body to rest.  (Holly is 29, Charlie was 31.)

deeper stuff

Despite all the cute pics, I am struggling lately.  (Truthfully, its an ongoing thing, not just a 'lately' thing, sometimes just more so than others.)  Struggling with putting my hope & contentedness everywhere but where it should be.  I put my hope in a neat, organized, clean house and children that obey, are clean and look cute (they do usually look cute but that's often the only part), LONG naptimes, in fun things to look forward to, etc, etc (basically, in my COMFORT).  And when those things don't come thru for me, I feel SO bummed, joy-stealing bummed.  I hate that!  It's hard to see your own idols & sin.  (Thanks to Steve for preaching about idols in the last year!!)

Why are you downcast, O my soul? 

       Why so disturbed within me? 

       Put your hope in God!  (Ps 42)

I think I always had this idea that you get more and more 'holy' as you grow in your Christian walk, so 'good' things would become more natural.  (Maybe that's true for some, but not for me.)  A few years ago ('04), Mike and I did Sonship.  So hard to comprehend at the time.  It talks a lot about our sin & how as time goes on, you see it more and more.  But at the same time, you need to see the Cross grow more and more to meet & cover that.  I come back to that and it comforts me (some).  Don't worry, I still regularly pray and cry out for things to make me comfortable & happy!!


****************


Last week I ran out of gas.  Yep, and the kids were with me.  It was actually a good gospel illustration to me.  That morning, I had been reading Paul Miller's A Praying Life and read this: "If Satan's basic game plan is pride, seeking to draw us into his life of arrogance, then God's basic game plan is humility, drawing us into the life of his Son."  So I was thankful that provided some comfort to see it as God's mercy that I be humbled & see my lack of ability to simply keep gas in the car.  Then to add to the gospel reminder part, Mike's parents so very graciously and speedily came to my rescue.  They didn't ask me how it happened, they just brought me some A/C, gas, & hugs.  Thank you, Kathy & Ski!  (And Peter thought it was great to have some time in Pop's truck.)

catch up

I should be cleaning the house, being that I HAVEN'T for the last 2 weeks, but this seems more enjoyable...

We went to a Flying Squirrels game last weekend... Lily got a ride on the way! (love her profile!)

I just love crawling pics of the back of Lily for some reason (I realize how silly that sounds as I type it out- oh well!)

Lily is starting to take a couple steps to you if she's in "cruising position"

and every time she lets go, the mouth goes open THIS WIDE and a big HEH comes out, she thinks its hysterical.  She would just face plant if I wasn't there.  Her mind is willing but her flesh isn't there yet.

and she loves to sit down in your lap now- love it!

We had cupcakes with dinner one night when Daddy had something after work.  :)

Peter likes the cupcake, just not his pic being taken.

Peek-A-Boo

Where are Peter and Lily?!

There they are!!!

Lily is still loving her new book (& new PJs)....

Peter does this cute thing where he curls his hands in front of a book as he reads it :)

Peter thinks he should be able to pick Lily up!

Peter got some new overalls with a "whoo whoo" on them so we had overall day. :)  

Thanks Nee Nee!!

this one's for John

He's got more crack than Harlem!

sleepy head

I definately know that I have been spoiled by my kids good sleeping habits (they come by it honestly) and esp by Lily, sleeping thru the night at 5 weeks old.  Well, this morning Lily woke up at 7:30 (I wasn't home, was walking w/ Blair) so Mike got her up.  I came home at 8 and went up and nursed her.  She went back to sleep afterwards and slept until 11AM!! (I woke her b/c I was worried!)  Lately, its not unusual for her to sleep until 10AM!  I'm totally spoiled.... maybe a growth spurt?  I'll take it!

Happy Clothes

Gram and Pop treat their grandkids to a matching t-shirt or dress each summer with their name on it.  Our loves wore theirs to church this morning and oh, did they look so cute & match-y.  I love the colors!!