flashback

Isn't he cute & handsome?!

playing peek.a.boo at Gram's house :)

 and look at this doll...

 seeing these "little" pics totally evokes all of the explosive feelings of adoration & joy toward her!

 fun & random memory... ALL of the small group girls at the river house (minus Blair & Landon)

yard overhaul

Like I mentioned, my parents did some serious work for us while they were here... 

they are um, A-MA-ZING!

As soon as Peter was home on Friday morning, my dad was biting at the bit to start on the yard.

Mike had cut some BIG limbs out of a tree in the fall but never hauled it off so Daddy went to cutting up that for us to use for fire wood.  Such a nice Daddy!

 Lily enjoyed being a spectator and wanted to be near her "Paw" while he worked...

It was SUCH great weather for yard work.   This is what the front yard looked like... Paw brought his trailer and hauled 2 loads of debris off (some we'd already gathered, some new pruning too).... a much too "mature" yard, I say.

 On Saturday, Paw went to creating more to haul off ;) and wacked down all of our crazy shrubs with our permission.  I'm not really sure what to do with our yard (it needs professional help, new topsoil and grass, but that probably won't happen!).  Paw enjoyed every minute of using a chain saw!!!  It does look much neater.

 Daddy and Mike hauled off their second load, then returned with free mulch from the dump!

Peter and Lily were cute helping to get the last of the mulch out.

I've gone thru major withdrawal this week.  I'm a princess and have nice parents.  It was just SOOO nice to have them here.  With all that's been going on, it felt so good to not be "in charge" and just let them take over. Paw fixed us hot french toast every morning on french bread and gave tight hugs.  My mom cleaned and did laundry, raked and loved on us.  They slept on the couch and old twin mattress w/o complaining. (they refused our bed!)  It felt like a 5 day at home productive vacation with people who LOVE us.  On Sunday morning, I realized that my heart just felt so full b/c they were here and had been for 5 days.  Thank you Mom and Daddy!

dining room makeover

I didn't get great before pics (I didn't even think of it til after I'd started taking it apart to paint).

I'm a girl who likes pink and was thrilled when we bought this house and the dining room was pink.  Mike would never have allowed ME to paint it pink.  So I enjoyed it for 4 years (and even looking at these pics, I did like it, it was fun) but I'd decided I was just done with dark pink.  It felt too overstimulating in a time of life when I could use more of a calming effect.  I've debated for years about what color to change it to but never could really come up with anything. Then I found curtains at a consignment shop near the river house and decided to use them for my inspiration and starting point.  The curtains looked great with the wall color of the main room at the river house (Benjamin Moore Bleeker Beige), so I kept it simple and went with that.

BEFORE:

My parents came to my rescue last Wednesday.  After Tuesday went down in the crazy way it did (a whole other story), I just needed them!  So they came early Wed morning.  I went back to bed after they got here.  My dad got busy to work, finishing my dining room.  It was 3/4th painted so he finished that and then hung my curtain rods (I had no idea that takes so long!).  Mom ironed and hung my curtains.  I was proud of myself b/c the curtains are made with a "rod pocket" at the top but I don't really love that pleated look so I bought rod clips and used those instead for a neater look.  (And you don't really notice the rod pocket stitching from afar.)

AFTER:

I'd been wanting a white mirror for that room to make it brighter.  Mom found this one at a consignment shop in L'ville ($30) and painted it white for me.

We moved the kids table to a different corner and hung green ribbon on the wall for Peter's art work :)!  I love it!  (I might paint the kids' table and chairs at some point?) 

We also moved this piece of furniture to a different corner against the kitchen wall (Mom's idea).  I never would have thought it would work there and always had it on an "outside" wall.  I love it in this corner b/c its size is sorta hidden and so the room feels more open.

final corner close up:

Here's the whole room...

(I might eventually do something to the chandelier (white or bronze, like the curtain rods) but for now, I'm done.

Here's the price rundown...

One set of curtains: $45 at consignment shop (they were NEW)

Second set of curtains: $5 (!!!) on ebay, $10 shipping (also NEW)

Rods and clips: $25 per window from WalMart

Can of paint: $30-35 (?)

New Mirror: $30 (Mom paid)

Total: $140

Pinned and Casted

 Here are some pics of Peter with his LEL-LOW cast.... it goes to the top of his arm.  He had surgery last Friday morning.  Everything went amazingly perfect and speedily.  Praise the Lord for that!  Mike, Paw, Peter and I arrived to the hospital at 6am and we were back home before 10am.  If we could just get neuro folks on board with this method, our lives would be significantly easier and less anxious.  I tooks the kiddos for a wagon ride that afternoon.  We were completely spoiled by 2-3 days of 70 degree weather!

 Gram and I have discussed that this little girl is going to be her big bro's maid-servant.  She totally caters to him and I love it!

 Peter had some good "JB" time during recovery.

 Paw and Maw were with us for 5 wonderful days (more on that later).  Sunday before church, Paw drew a tractor on Peter's cast.  The bummer thing about having a cast so young is that kids don't really write their name yet to sign it :(... we'll have to settle for some scribbles.

 Pete is very proud of his yi-yo :)

peter's sayings

Peter has said some funny things since going thru all of this craziness...


Yesterday, he was coughing (after he gagged when I was trying to take his temp) and said "I think I'm ALLERGIC!"... do you think he's been listening at ALL of his drs appts lately?


At night, each time he wakes up in pain (2-3 times per night- not bitter about this delay said sarcastically) from his arm, we hear him on the monitor shouting "MICHAEL!  MICHAEL!" "My arm hurts!"  (He loves his Daddy b/c he has a very sweet and patient one, a saint I tell you!)


Job36:15
¹⁵ But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering;
   he speaks to them in their affliction.

best therapy ever

Peter has a broken left arm.  He needs surgery on it. He's gotten the BEST therapy ever from grandparents.  Gram has read him books, books, and more books-his whole big Curious George collection and more.  I don't have a pic of her reading (only on my phone).  Jip has a ouchie on his arm too.

Today my parents are here and I've never been more glad to see them.

Paw is giving Peter the best play therapy ever... its oh so good for the spirit and the body... lots of laughs and playing.  Oh, how we LOVE grandparents over here.  They keep our rocking world going 'round!

Feb 15, 2011

I am writing this post in retrospect (on Feb 15, 2012).  It was one crazy day (as were TOO MANY of our days in that season)... I'm not sure I can remember it perfectly but bear with me...  I couldn't bear to write about any of this at the time.  It was much too traumatic... living it once was more than enough.


Thurs, Feb 10:  We are at home making Valentines cards for his classmates and Peter has a major grand mal seizure.  His first non-febrile one.  I am scared shit-less (I was already on edge from his recent health problems).  I try to call Mike from my phone that was on the table near me.  I can not work my fingers.  I try to call 911 and I can not work my fingers.  I scoop up my 42 lb boy like a baby and run out of the house.  It was all I could think... "Get out of the house!"... someone will be able to help me somewhere outside, even if its someone driving down the street.  But I run to my next door neighbor, Carolyn's house (I've told Lily to stay inside our house) and BANG on her door while SHOUTING her name and carrying my seizing child.  Thankfully, she is on the phone so she doesn't have to find it to call 911 for me.  I sit on her couch and start shouting prayers for the Lord to make it stop.  All the while, he continues on.  Then Carolyn passes me the phone to talk to the dispatcher.  She asks me to the most ridiculous questions.  Mind you, this is now his 8th seizure.  We have done this before.  If there was something else I could do, I would be doing it.  I'm pretty sure I shout at the dispatcher and throw the phone.  Peter is still seizing.  Then I hear a siren (we hear them often b/c we live by a rescue station and hospital).  It takes a few seconds for it to register that its FOR PETER!  So I stand up and RUN, holding my seizing child.  I'm sure I'm hysterical.  About that point, I think Peter stops seizing (its always been somewhat vague to me to pinpoint the end of a seizure b/c they are so out of it in the post-ictal stage) and goes limp.  To me, it feels like he has been seizing so long that he maybe dies when he goes limp in my arms.  And I feel the presence of the Lord surround me like I can't explain.  And somehow, probably only by the power of the Holy Spirit, I say "OK, Lord" in my heart.  And I thank Him for the 2 weeks we've just had with Peter since his non-febrile (myoclonic) seizures began.  Then I had him to the paramedic and tell him that he is limp and maybe not breathing.  The paramedic takes him and assures me that he is OK.  (And I believe him... I trust that maybe he really is breathing and just done seizing.)  We go to the hospital, they talk with a neurologist from his VCU practice and we increase his medication dosage.  We go home.  I am majorly traumatized to say the least.  
Peter continues to have the myoclonic jerk seizures on Friday.  Mike comes home from work early to take him to the VCU ER on Friday.  If I remember right, that visit was pointless.  They just told us they'd schedule an admission for him to the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit in the near future.  


Sunday, Feb 13th: (3 days later)
At bedtime, Peter runs across his bed and falls to the floor, breaking his arm.  We feel pretty sure right away that its broken b/c it swells SO quickly and he is just inconsolable from the pain, which is just not like him.  He tends to be pretty pain tolerant.  We go into the ER again and confirm that its broken.  Mike and I look at each other and say, "well, sh*t" (a funny story from our STINT year).  They splint it and tell us to head in to the orthopedist's office later that week (I think we get an appt for Thurs).  Peter continues in such pain (remember, he is SO pain tolerant AND he has just been diagnosed with a seizure disorder and stress, lack of sleep are seizure triggers.  So this is NOT jiving with me, at all.)  Thankfully, a mom from my Wellspring group tells me that after a bone gets casted, the pain improves significantly.  So I call the ortho office again and they agree to to see us on Tuesday, Feb 15th.  


Tues, Feb 15th:  This day was also significant b/c its the day of his first follow up office visit since his seizures began 2 weeks earlier.  We are getting results from his expanded newborn screening, which will let us know if he has some sort of metabolic disease.  We have been waiting a long 2 weeks for those results.  His appt is at 12:30 (his normal naptime, so not ideal).  We find out that screening was NORMAL!  Thank you, Lord!  After that appointment, I take him over to West End Orthopedics for what we think is his casting.  They X-Ray his arm again.  The doctor comes in and asks me what Peter was doing/ how he broke his arm.  Then he tells me that he is going to have to take him to the OR.  WHAT?!  I take a deep breath.  He says he can fit him in in the morning.  Great!  Let's just get it done.  The nurse comes in to "pre-op" screen him and takes his temp.  Its like 99.9.... well, look at that, he has a FEVER... they can't take him to the OR.  He has to go see his pediatrician.  Great.  This is the point at which I about lost it!  Peter was not sick.  I still to this day don't think he was sick.  He never had any other symptoms... only all of the craziness he'd just been through in the last 3 weeks.  So we head over the peds office for a dinner time appt.  At this point, Peter has missed his nap and been at doctor's appts all day instead.  They see him and his temp is like 100.5.  So they don't clear him for surgery.  Instead, we go home and wait some more, still in pain.

Finally, they took him to surgery on Friday, Feb 18th for an Closed Reduction and Internal Fixation of his left humerus.  He came out with a bright yellow cast that was quite the excitement!  We would later find out that was also the day our baby died.  I was pregnant and found out at my 8 week ultrasound that the baby had grown to 6 weeks and 4 days.  It was easy to focus on Peter though that and just be happy that it wasn't something else going on with him.  Sadness over Peter felt and feels more justifiable and easier for hide behind.  But its a loss.  I try to trust God's mercy but I often feel like our family is different b/c of that season.  Earth holds a lot I love but Heaven holds someone too.  She says it really well.

Lily's First Sentences...

Lily has started in on sentences over the last few days!!
We're calling her first "official" sentence:  
"I unt mo pizza!"  (I want more pizza!)
Tonight we heard 
"I did it!" (after she buckled the booster seat) 
and
"Paci in my chair", "Paci in my hand"
She's gotten GREAT at pronouncing the second consonant sounds...
baTH, yeS, buS, booK
Peter really enjoys asking her to say particular words... train and track are his current favs.

41

random but I want to remember it about my boy
         ... he is 41 inches and 41 pounds ...
            ... 90-95th percentile for both ...


he had his first OT session today... 
OT is definitely the most fun therapy so far!

weekend with Holly

Holly came to visit us this weekend!!!

It was so fun.  We loved having her here and the increase of JOY in our house.

It was a great weekend all around.  Friday night, Mike and I went to dinner while Kathy & Ski had the kids.  Then Holly and I went back out after she got here to get some Moe's for her :).

Saturday the girls went out together... :)  Chipotle, Home Goods, and Trader Joes :)... it was lots of fun & Lily was a trooper.  It was just fun to head out together on a rainy Sat and shop, be together.  :)

Today she got to come to church with us then relax, watch a movie and make a bean dip for the Superbowl tonight.  I love some Holly time!!  Everything is more fun together... 

I'll keep the quote of the weekend to myself  ;)

My Bag Lady

Lily loves to carry bags around and say "BYE".

Today she had 4 of them.... :)

My munchkins melt my heart... !!!  I am so thankful for these little innocent days with them.

(her chin is extremely better after 3 days on Zovirax)

Sibling LOVE

Peter takes after me and likes to be close...  he often says to Lily as they are eating...

"Lily, I want to be CLOSEEEER!" as he grabs her chair and pulls it to him.  Notice how their trays are overlapping :)!

As I'm sure most younger siblings do, Lily learns from, imitates and looks up to Peter.  I was telling Mike today that she now won't the crust of her sandwich b/c she's seen that Peter doesn't.  Mike said that when they were playing outside this morning and she wanted to come in but it wasn't time yet, she started saying "I UNT GOO!" ("I want Goo")... which is what Peter always says if we aren't doing or giving him what he wants... :)!!  

medical mystery (potentially) solved

This time its Lily!!! 


I took her to the dermatologist for the 3rd time today (and probably the 6-7th total time, including our pediatrician's office) for her CHIN.  "It" came back last Monday and a week and a half later, using all the meds they've given us, its as bad as ever.  So we headed in today.  I was just going to show up if they didn't take us willingly.  Her doctor wasn't in so we saw a nurse practitioner (so am cheering for NP's) and she suspected herpes after hearing our LONG story of Lily's chin.  She called in another dr (Dr Konerding, who I think is well known around here) and she totally agreed.  Apparently, it doesn't present in the usual way that it does on an adult (ME!) but its more deep in her skin so is just mi nut little blisters with a serous drainage on the first day, instead of being BIG blisters above the skin.  Both of them felt sure that's what it is.    We just have to wait for it to come back AGAIN and then take her in on the very first day so it can be cultured.  
Honestly, I was just thrilled to have someone tell me something after 8 chin flare ups in 9 months.
Now the med... we don't have Zovirax in hand yet b/c apparently its 10 times as expensive as an anti-convulsant... WHO KNEW?!?!  So I'm hunting down the cheapest pharmacy... Wal-Mart, I presume.


We're feeling "all done" with weird medical things over here!  ;)

update on Peter

Ugh.... another wordy post... I need to take pics... I can't stand just words but its all I've got...


We've been very thankful for everyone's love and support and most importantly, PRAYERS, for Peter and us over the last week.  It has blessed and sustained us.
I am happy to say that we are truly doing good today!  Peter's had a great day- has totally seemed like himself in every way.  God has been guarding my mind from worry, which is as much of a praise... and its totally the Lord, the Spirit, guarding my mind. And I'll gladly take it.  Its easier here than projecting the future (which I have no knowledge of or control over).  


We have started giving Peter the seizure medication b/c he had some "jerks" on Monday... he has seemed to tolerate it great so far and hasn't missed a beat.  I am thankful.
We have PT scheduled for Thursday and OT scheduled to start next Monday.  I've found a babysitter for Lily... once again, I am thankful for the Lord providing her!
We have follow up scheduled at VCU.  Just thinking of that tempts my mind to worry (you don't need to read into that or worry for me, just pray for me to not worry)... but I know it provides the opportunity for a GREAT report so I am hopeful that will be the case!  Yes, yes!


I've been trying to think on Matthew 6
    ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
   ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 


and Psalm 139
¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place. 


and John 9 (verses I've always loved from being a nurse)
¹ As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. ² His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
   ³ “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.


And how happy are we for the work of God and his Glory to be displayed in our lives, even if that involves something hard.  


We hope its only seizures, or something simpler, and we are guarding our hearts to love our boy and each other today but ultimately, we trust God.  And there is nothing that can happen in this life that can separate us from God in Christ Jesus.  We are thankful that God is for us.  He has proved that to us by sending Jesus to pay for our sin, cover our inequities and make a way for us to be right with God.  And so far He has proved to us by His Spirit that He is with us and will take us through this whatever it is!  We hope its nothing!  Yes, Lord, we do, we do!  Hear our prayer!  But we also want people to not see us or some strength we have (we don't!) but to see God's care of us, His glory thru our family and be encouraged that He cares for you too, personally.  And its oh so good to know He is for you and loves you!   Please keep praying for us and for our Pete.  We love, love, love that boy!

I've had too many posts lately w/o pics... so I found this SUNNY pic of my handsome blonde babe... seriously, he's good looking!  We are trusting God for the dream He has given Peter of DRIVING!  Its the boy's dream... and we will be proud.  He can make a way :)  We pray that his life will glorify God.