Raw Emotions & Yesterday's Exciting Old Navy Finds

We went to Peter's speech therapy yesterday.  Lily came along.  While I am so thankful for everyone there and the services, I've decided I hate that place... I hate going there 3 days a week. I hate that it has to exist.  I hate seeing all of the kids (big & young) who also have to come, I hate the bumper stickers of "Autism Awareness" and all the other "disorders/conditions" they serve.  It shouts in my face three times a week that things aren't right.  I hate that we are a part of it and I hate it for all the other families who have it far worse than we do.  


So while Peter had his speech therapy, I decided to leave (for the first time ever in 6 months!) for my own therapy.  (Don't worry, I left my # with the receptionist.)  Lily and I got milkshakes, then headed to HomeGoods for some retail therapy.  We didn't buy anything but it was just good to be out and away.


When we got back to Children's, I got weepy for his therapist.  Just talking more and more about his tone issues (esp with his mouth, tongue, jaws)... and the same old ones that we've been struggling with for years... some days I'm just weary and over it all.  His therapist is lovely and was so reassuring and kind.  And I want to just shout... how did this happen?  Where did this come from?  How is it all related (seizures & tone)?  How long will we struggle?  No one can tell me.  And that's OK, I guess.  You can pray that God would give me the ongoing grace to TRUST HIM.   He knows how & why and He knows how He'll carry us thru.  And I know that somehow in his sovereignty, He has deemed this as part of his perfect plan.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me (& Peter) completely.  

1 Cor 13:12

So afterwards, as I weeped in the van for our drive home, I decided that I just wasn't ready to go home.  So we headed to Old Navy.  And here come the fun deals...


2 new workout tank tops: originially $14.50, clearance for $3.99
Pack of underpants for Lily:  originally $7.50, clearance for $2.99
All for $12, less than the original cost of one for the items!  SCORE!


And it also did my heart good to listen to the JOY of Peter and Lily's squeals as they played so cheerfully together under clothes racks and in front of the dressing room mirrors!